Friday, August 17, 2018

Do What You Love

Having just come out of 9+ years of Neurological late stage Lyme disease I thought I knew what I wanted to do with my life. 

Quick recap:
I moved to NYC in 1999 to pursue my love of acting at The American Academy of Dramatic Arts.  Soon thereafter I began a fitness career on the side.   My first job as a personal trainer was at Synergy Fitness Club on the Upper West Side.  I taught my first spin class there and watched the other trainer girl keep her slim figure by eating dry oatmeal in the locker room.  I lived in NYC in the era of bean pole models where having a pair of shoulders meant you were a professional athlete, or so passerbyers would think.  I was often asked what sport I trained in and my response was simple:  I just work out.  Before Crossfit muscles weren't cool but I have long thought they were.

Please understand, its like a new beginning for me.  My life has had to greatly hault over the last 9+ years from undiagnosed Lyme disease and treatment.  I am feeling more free and healthy after years of the reaper hanging above.  Acting, fitness, and health was part of my life prior to my getting sick and getting a diagnosis.  I figured my new found knowledge in medicine, natural medicine, alternative treatments, and the sincere joy I get from helping other sick humans would further expand my career.  Modern medicine has failed Lyme patients tremendously, so we educate ourselves and fill up with an abundance of knowledge in order TO HEAL OURSELVES and help others heal on their journey.

I got incredibly ill with undiagnosed Lyme disease and had to withdraw from school due to my inability to focus, retain information, and my immense pain while studying for hours on end.  Since 2010 I have been trying to return (the brain is finally ready).  My recent goal was to get my degree in Public Health and Communications, give speeches about conditions related to Lyme disease at events such as TedX, and write books!

But man...Since my last blog post I have begun to question everything I thought I wanted to do with my life.  I've had thoughts of not ever wanting to have a conversation about Lyme disease again!
My reasons are partially due to the:
1.  Backlash the Lyme community gets when we share information the general public is weary of or uneducated on.  People simply fear what they do not understand and get angry!
2.  Healing... This disease has taken up nearly a decade of my life.  It's like a bad ex boy... Leave that shit on the curb and let the garbage man pick it up and put it where it belongs:  The dump with the rest of the slime balls.
3.   Lastly, it is very sad for me to see people who have been swept up in the medical world, on massive amounts of medications,  so sick they may never quite understand what is going on, and may never get to a point where they can get better.

Then I got a message from a gentleman whom I went to high school with.  He was a few grades older.  I received the message in the gym locker room just after I had an epiphany while stretching.  I realized that I'm nearing 40 years old and I might not get another 40 years.  It made me think of my dad, he never got another 40 years!  That was scary to me.   The gentleman told me I was an inspiration to a friend of his with Lyme disease and many others.  It was good timing.  I'm still unsure of my plan, but for now I'll continue on and hopefully figure out why I'm on this planet!

My new motto: Do what you love.

Acting on set  :)
Girls girls Girls
Love Fiona and Loved loved Loved this wedding!

My latest Update Video

Thanks for reading!