Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Okay, Turns out I'm not so Well-ish

I knew there was a reason I kept that -ish at the end of my blog name.
I knew there was something not quite right.
I cleaned up my diet and starting treating my body right.  I figured out my long list of food allergies, and avoided them.  But something was wrong, the list kept growing and the symptoms marched on.

My cycle went something like this:

-I'd get rid of dairy
-Feel great for 3 months
-Feel like crap again
-Get rid of gluten
-Feel great for three months
-Feel like crap again
-Stop eating almonds, an allergen
-Still feel like crap
-Get rid of sugar
-Get rid of most fruits, allergens
-Get rid of all grains
-Get rid of some veggies, allergens
-Get rid of certain seeds, spices, all nuts
-Get rid of red meat

With every doctor I've seen since 2010 and with every year that has past, my symptoms only persisted.  Nothing ever got better.  There was a constant decline in my health and well being, turning from a "yes" person to a "no" person.  I no longer went snowboarding, I no longer hung out with friends, I no longer did the things I had always done.  What I did, was come home from work, get in my pajamas and curl up with my dog.

Over the course of four years, I've had some very difficult days.
Rash from hemp milk

Feeling ill with my pup

Swollen eyes from eating at my last restaurant

My own scratch testing I had to start on all foods

And I've had some good days.

Landing an acting job that gets me on billboards and buses

Looking kind of normal, when a friend visits, who I hadn't seen in years

But I feel as though I am living in a body that has been taken over.
Nothing in my body feels like mine anymore.
Are aliens controlling me with a remote or something?
Everything I have done to fix myself has failed and what is peering out of my inflamed eyes, is pain with a glimmer of hope.

I made a lot of changes in my life and I function by the hour of each day.  Justifying became the norm with my symptoms,when I started slurring my words, it was because I gave up sugar.  My muscle pain, well shit I work in a gym, it's filled with muscle pain.  You get the drift, I thought everybody must feel like me.

This battle is making me see how strong of a person I am and I've begun to except myself.  Not give up, just acceptance of myself, something I've always struggled with.

I took this photo April 12th 2011,

Dead in Bed
I would get home from work at about 1-2 pm and lie on my bed, in a constant state of exhaustion, staring into space, physically and mentally lethargic.  I took this picture as a way to document this important moment in my life.  I knew that I should not have felt that way, so I continued to document symptoms.
This moment was the moment I realized something was off.
Did I know what?  No.  Did I tell anybody?  No, I just kept lying there, doing what I could, when I could.
It wasn't until my other symptoms crept in that I realized I had something much bigger going on. I began looking and searching and annoying everybody and demanding tests, until I had a epiphany.

Flash forward to October 14th 2014.  Today I had blood taken and it will be sent out to IGeneX lab in CA, in order to test for Lyme disease.

My symptoms to date in order are as follows:

-Had a bulls eye rash, showed two people, all three of us were clueless, threw some ointment on that bitch, went a away in a week.
-Had the most horrible flu ever, started with a migraine, lasted over a week, almost went to the emergency room.
-So tired and lethargic
-Hormone imbalances  
-Intolerance to foods and allergies
-Dry skin on face and eczema, also melasma
-NO attention span, no longer able to read books
-Muscle ticking and knots everywhere
-Trouble with weight, kept gaining, (Thyroid, T4 not converting to T3)  slow metabolism
-Swelling eyes to food allergies
-Rashes on body from food allergies
-Eye sight changes from blurry to normal
-Joint pain and swelling in fingers
-Heart palpitations
-Slurring of speech
-Short term memory loss
-Mixing up words
-Loss of muscle tone and strength
-Water retention throughout body
-MORE FOOD ALLERGIES, stomach pain and intolerance's to everything
-Severe eye inflammation and pain
-Toe pain and swelling
-Legs giving out randomly

But I marched on, letting very few know the extent of what I've dealt with throughout the last few years.

I'm not saying I have Lyme Disease just yet, these are only symptoms I've been experiencing since 2009-2010.
The test should be in before the month of October is over, and so the journey begins.

Learn about Lyme disease, educate yourselves, if there a chance I have this, there is a chance you have this.

Go here and watch these to learn!  Now!!

Thanks for reading, Becky